welcome to the r.o. blog
Hello! I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you. I’m Toren Roe, professional organizer and owner of Roe Organizing in Central Arkansas. To be honest, I never thought, in a million years, that ever I wanted be a writer or blogger, much less a business owner! I felt like I didn’t have anything to offer, but I’ve come to realize that the fear and shame keeping me from sharing my personal story is unfounded. And if it can help someone else, then I’ll tell it all. Fair warning: this introduction post is long, and it’s mainly about me.
I’m starting this blog because I want to share what I have learned about organizing from the perspective of a professional organizer AND as someone with experience with neurodivergence, mainly ADD (or ADHD, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder), AND as someone with the experience of growing up in a disorganized home. Now that I’ve realized I DO have something unique to offer, I can’t keep quiet anymore. I have always loved organizing spaces in my home and organizing for my friends, but once I started to learn more about organization from the perspective of a professional organizer, it has changed my life so much for the better. And I need to share it!
So let’s dive right in. Y’all, my entire life, I feel like I have Struggled with a capital S. As a child of parents and grandparents with (what I think is) undiagnosed ADD and chronic disorganization, I grew up surrounded by an excess of STUFF. Like, as in, a LOT of clutter. It affected me as a child, of course, in the embarrassment of it and the overwhelm. But it also affected me in other ways that I only realized once I became an adult. As a child, I really didn’t think much about it. However, looking back, I realized that I felt a dis-order and lack of structure in my life that was unsettling. I taught myself from an early age that if I felt out of control about something, I could “take control” of it.
I promise this does all relate to organizing. As a way to cope with the constant activity, clutter, and mess going on around me (I’d say chaos, but that’s a little much), I found refuge in being alone. I found refuge in the order and predictability of music. I also spent a lot of time away from home at my friends’ houses. As I got older, I still struggled with out-of-control feelings, but I realized I did have control over some things in my life, like my room. I realized the clutter was less overwhelming if I kept my room tidy (what a revelation!). When I felt out of control emotionally, I found power in being in control of “stuff” and I developed the skill of being a super-cleaner. *cue epic music* I could take a pile of clutter and reduce it to only the necessities in minutes! Julie Morgenstern would say I was a “conqueror of clutter.” I found it so extremely satisfying, and that little part of me is what eventually led me down the path to becoming an organizer.
Despite feeling like I’ve been on the struggle bus my whole life, things were different when I was in school. In elementary school, I was in the gifted and talented program. I made good grades and thrived in high school and college, and graduated both with honors. But what happened once I graduated and had to find a job? Once I was on my own schedule? I flopped around like a fish. I had no internal clock, no structure to my day, and no ability to create it. I was overwhelmed with the choices I had to make daily. Mindless, careless, & costly mistakes for no reason? Hello, that was my middle name.
Is anyone seeing the big picture yet? Putting two and two together? Looking back now I realize that what I have strived to create for myself (as a child, then teen, then adult) was the organization and structure that I didn’t have internally and so-desperately needed growing up. It took me becoming an organizer, and learning about ADD to help others, to figure out that I and probably both of my parents have it to some degree.
Although I haven’t had a diagnosis, I believe it’s highly probable that I inherited some ADD tendencies. I don’t know yet if it is genetic or from watching my parents’ actions and learning their coping strategies, but I do intend to find out. Nothing in school taught me that ADD or ADHD could be in girls, much less grown adults, and nothing I read in college helped me put the pieces together either. It took me 2 decades to learn that I loved going to summer camps so much as a kid not only because I loved being on-the-go and doing new things, but also because I craved structure during the summer (a huge realization for me). And probably also because I enjoyed being away from the overwhelm that was my house. Sorry, Mom and Dad.
So, ugh!!! How can you have ADD and be an organizer at the same time? It seems so counterintuitive and wrong… something like a dentist with rotting teeth. The truth is, I’ve been really ashamed about it and I *really* thought people would judge me if they knew. (I imagine someone saying, “You’re not a real organizer!”)
But despite all my fears and limiting thoughts of myself, I’m living proof that you can create organization in your life even if you struggle with ADD or ADHD. Even if you just can’t fold laundry, you can still be organized. Even if you have clutter, you can still be organized. Even if you are paralyzed by fears and intrusive thoughts, you can still be organized!
Organization comes in many different forms and there are many different ways that we create it for ourselves and understand it. You can use categories, put like-with-like, visual organizing, or even use emotional organizing (yes, that’s a thing for another post). It might take some work in the beginning, but you can get organized. In fact, it’s even MORE important for you if you have ADD or any other neurodivergence. Organization is there to make our lives easier. Kids and adults with ADD struggle enough as it is, so we need things and systems in place that make our lives easier.
Does this sound familiar? The shame and the struggle cycle? Clutter overwhelm? If you are dealing with this too, you are not alone. Let’s go on this journey together. In this blog, I’m planning to dive deep into some different topics related to organizing, productivity, and may even get into some sciency brain stuff that I hope will help me my clients. 🙂 Thanks for being here!
The outer conditions of a man’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state.
James Allen, As a Man Thinketh